Hmmmmmmmmm

I have been mulling over what you have said for too long (although I have to admit not too often over said time period).  In the end, I think my problem is not knowing the right answer and thinking I have to know it.   In keeping with the Frodo theme, it was obvious to him that his leap of faith was really a leap of doom.  Yet faith moved him forward.  I think I will be best served if I take a similar leap of faith and move forward.  For despite the fact that I expect almost certain doom, it would appear it must be done.  Either this leap will show me the error of my ways or bring me to the next level.  Here's to it.

Cheers

Triple Threat, I Hope

It is funny because the first thing that I want to do is to provide counsel from the natural. Many ideas and suggestions come to mind immediately. My profession immediately kicked in when I read this post. But I know that God will be the only one to provide the answer. Although I know that I can be that tool that the Lord provides to help with guidance. Since I have seen this on several occasions. As far as a response to this post it took some time to find the right words. I am going to throw out there an attempt at three answers/thoughts for exploration.
So the counsel perspective provided several things, although I will try to stay general in my words. In terms of the struggle that is experienced within the family, think about the side of our spouse who may be feeling the frustration of their own lives whether it is stress or a search for answers as well. Arguing may not be serving the purpose that one is looking to accomplish by making certain statements. Thoughts may be one’s expression of their own feelings because something is missing. One must search their insides for what is truly their purpose for life. What makes you truly happy and can there be a balance between the multiple things such as schooling/academia and family. Is one better or therefore the betterment of the other? If that makes any sense at all. It is defiantly a struggle that I don’t envy but understand because of my own struggles between expanding my family versus money as well as a potential job move. All of these also spill into my marriage and family-robbing me of my foundation and the support as well as enjoyment that this provides me. So I sympathize with the struggle.
So the God perspective provides a different view of things and a way to find some clarity in your exploration. Again trying to remain nondirectional or judgmental not trying to push my own perspective but explaining a view. In terms of our paths in life and the things we do or have happen, God gives us things that we need when we least expect it as part of a grand scheme or plan. Although this was not your plan, God is leading you to what He wants your plan to be even though you must choose which the whole purpose of free will is. Even if we do wander down the wrong path at times remember we can always turn back. I now turn to these lyrics by We As Human in their song “Until We’re Dead” He lets us fall until we turn and reach out for Him, We can never fall too far from Him. The struggle is your need to make the best choice for you and your family based on your belief. This struggle though is like the devil is trying to provide confusion and distraction to you in order to hide the path that God has set forth for you to choose. Just like the constant struggle with your weight, it took you ten years to find the right path while dealing with the constant distraction and many other paths that are present. This is what makes things more difficult. All of these experiences, events and encounters have been the building blocks of knowledge that you have needed in order to survive all the conundrums that you have dealt with over your lifetime. They have prepared you for this moment in life that God is waiting for you to choose. Remember that He is always there and remains patient and merciful despite all of our screw ups.
So here are the thoughts that were spurned when reading through your post. The first pertains to the letter portion of the post. I like what Tolkien says about the ‘real soul mate’ is the one you are actually married too. This struck me because I feel that we could spend eternity looking for the perfect one in a world that is hardly perfect because we all have flaws and would never find our soul mate unless we allow God to provide us with that opportunity. The same way people spend eternity looking for answers when all they truly need to do is listen to God and he will provide you with answers to all your questions. This is confirmed in Matthew chapter 7 verses 7-8 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. I believe that Patti is that God given soul mate that was assigned for you. Real soul mates are the ones we have to work with in order to make them prosper. Besides what would be the fun in having someone that does not provide a challenge for us, this is why you and I get along so well in spite of our different styles and approaches. Maybe you and I should talk about a challenge that you and I could participate in, related to bettering our relationship and ourselves.
It is the last thought of the God perspective I think that Frodo felt the need to take on the responsibility of the ring after several decades of struggle even though it would have been better just to let go and have someone else be responsible. But that my friend would be too easy and not how God intended us to work or he would not have given us free will. We must make the choice to seek out the Kingdom of Heaven in order to receive its riches. You and I know that neither of us likes to do things the easy way, hence why we have clicked from the beginning and continue to challenge each other despite the gaps and differences. As a human being we have the will to both be and provide for a family as part of our life purpose. But we also have the drive to know more of the things that are our passions in life such as academia or our relationship with God. The question becomes again, balance and peace with the things that we choose in our lives for ourselves and our family ultimately.
Your welcome, it will always be there no matter what no matter when.

Providence

Tolkien, in a letter to his son regarding the topic of love, stated this:

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes; in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the 'real soul mate’ is the one you are actually married to. You really do very little choosing: life and circumstance do most of it (though if there is a God these must be His instruments, or His appearances).

 

My wife constantly tells me that what I really want, is to be a PhD holed up in some office; that family gets in the way of this.   I have tried to argue against this with little avail.   Perhaps the following blurb inspired from the above quote, will bolster my contrary opinion.

Growing up in high school, I did not want to fall in love at all.  I wanted a girlfriend and companionship of course, but I in no way was looking for what I got ... my wife.  Yet, I knew from the outset that, wanting it or not, my wife was what I needed.  Nothing could have been, or ever has been, clearer.

A similar scenario happened in college.  I never wanted to be an academic or ever thought myself capable of being one; all I wanted to do was to be solidly educated and married.  Yet in college I became intoxicated by learning and understanding.  Perhaps I can be an academic?

{warning, the following paragraph, being an attempt to explain my conundrum and state of mind, will slide into prose that is deliberately bad in grammar}


Now I sit at an academic crossroad, not knowing where to go.  A PhD or no?   If I move to obtain a PhD , it will not only be the beginning of the end of my floor nursing career, but represent a substantive threat to my wife and family.  If I do not go on for a PhD, I may become miserable, regretting what I was become, becoming what I was not;  a loss of self; a toxic negative indulgence leading to a shell of a husband loosening his wife and family.  This is not agreeable either.

While I do not have a concrete solution to the above, I know God and his providence is saying loud and clearly this:

If I do not make sure that my wife and family come first, then all the opportunity and understanding in life will be lost.  For life and it’s providence has wisdom beyond measure.   I am to be reminded that without my freshman roommate or the love of my friends, I probably would not have gotten married.  I am to be reminded, that I could never otherwise explain why, except for providence, one rainy day in high school, completely unconscious of what I was doing,  I randomly walked over to my future wife’s house (barely knowing her at all) and rung that doorbell.

On paper, Frodo was convinced he had gone well beyond what he needed to do, by getting the Ring to Rivendell.  However, as convinced as he was that he was done with the ring, he soon saw that he, and he alone could take that ring to Mordor, for circumstances, nay life itself, would have no other way.  Unlike the movie, in the book, this process takes several decades of struggle as Frodo does not want to give up what he loves so much, in order to do what he knows is right (especially because logic is technically on the side of him giving up the ring).

Thus,  I can say no more than this: To my wife and many friends, I may have wanted (or still want) many things which were (are) bolstered by good logic.  However,  I am to be constantly reminded that you and only you, despite good or bad logic, have had any truth to offer from this life; that you are obvious instruments of providence.  I firmly believe that if I am to succeed  and be happy at anything it is because I kept your council and love.  This holds especially true of my Wife and children.

Thank you.

Live for Today, Dream for Tomorrow (Anberlin- Timecon)

Live for Today, Dream for Tomorrow (Anberlin- Timecon)
So I heard these lyrics and had a thought so I just wanted to throw it out there and see what anyone thinks.
How does one follow this statement? Is it not our dreams that fuel us to move forward? Constantly thinking of the next thing or what is to come next. What does it mean to live for today? Reflecting on what occurs day to day is living in the past. Enjoy the moment, engage fully in the interaction, make someone happy, and smile at everyone. It is like that commercial where one person’s good deeds cause a chain reaction of good deeds. Make your life worth something. Get out of the routine of day to day schedules, reactions and thoughts. Make a mundane task into something that you will never forget. I believe the measure of living for today is by how memorable your past is. It is that reflection that shows you how you have lived your life. Not that God cares about your past, today is the now let’s start the day and each day with that dream so that we can create a beautiful picture of the past.

Indeed

Mr. A, you said that God seems to provide the same if not more reasoning and evidence than everything else. I am temped to be an idiot and argue that you are making a positive out of a negative. That because we lack full understanding of everything , God seems just as likely (or better) an answer. But perhaps you feel as I do. That because we experience God and because there is no reason for him not to fit into this world ( especially because religious practice can be really helpful in life), our faith continues to grow?

God is certainly not a church, building or priest. But like you, I find benefit from seeking understanding of others (like your pastor’s sermons or teachings) and the general experiencing of worship. There are certain people who’s job it is to help guide people when they feel lost. I was lost and after prayer realized I needed to go back to my church. My faith comes almost completely from personal experiences, prayer (alone), and reading. Church and priests etc are just one way to keep things going. As you stated, philosophy does not provide final answers, God does. I will only add however, that the point of philosophy is to help people weed through the mires of life; to keep their thoughts and understandings properly in place. While faith may require blindness, we still need to see to work on this earth.

To answer your question about spiritual issues, it boils down to the person I am. Am I doing the right things in life? Am I trying hard enough to achieve ( understand) that which I should be achieving ( understanding) versus sitting around and being a fat lazy bum? Questions like this often surround four topics; being a husband, being a father, being a nurse, being an academic. How do I balance these things? The problems comes up when my personal demons throw things out of balance. We all have flaws that can really get under our skin and tear us apart. I remain full of pollution ( TV, generalized laziness, multiple anxieties from not succeeding, wanting too much for oneself). I am trying very hard to get my mind, body, and spirit back in order ( as if it ever was). The better I get at these things the better I am balancing my priorities. Prayer, meditation, and faith are very helpful.

As of now I exercise daily, eat well, and practice the faith I have always loved. Its doing wonders.

I like your conclusion.

I agree that spiritual distress will prevent one from fulfilling the worldly roles that they have. This furthers the point that one must become closer to and in tune with God in order to be better at the worldly roles that we fill. For God gave us those roles for a reason. If we communicate and are willing to listen He will show us how to be better at these roles.
Finding that balance is so much fun. (Ha-ha) The nice thing is that we can help each other and others reach this point. Just remember God is not made to fit in a box and when one tries, God always finds a way to prove you wrong. Blatantly proven when God won me over like you stated Mr. J in your last paragraph before your conclusion.
Overall, God is declaring “aren’t I enough for you.”

Of note:

I would like to say in response to your statement “step out from your technology, science and buildings and start communing with people and start communing with people and God more importantly on a personal level”

The most important thing we can do in this world is to understand each other. The art of dialogue is paramount there. I feel that my responses have not been dialectic here at all. The point of my research is to understand others through meaningful dialogue. For when two people truly try to understand each other ( instead of trying to demonstrate a point) true understanding comes into being. If people are ever to have better answers on this earth it will never come from anything but this All the science and technology will no nothing to promote this of its own.

One of the most important things I need to do here is to understand your faith. For you understood me even in times when it was clear I was off my rocker.

Response to Arg:
I think using “for lack of a better reason” was the wrong terminology. I feel the main point that I was trying to convey was that in light of all the other options out there, faith in God was the better reason to choose. Also the fact that science sometimes tries to justify things that may be as farfetched as others. God seems to provide the same if not more reasoning and evidence then everything else. It is this evidence that increases my ability to believe and commune with God on a daily basis. This has also lead me to the other revelation that God is not a church building or a priest. He is His own individual who wanted these things to spread his word and bring people to Him but what they have turned into are things that distract or detract individuals from having a one on one relationship with God void of church and others. Although these things can be beneficial and provide a starting point for one’s journey in the Lord. It is these things like science which create or change the true purpose of the research or relationship with God.
I agree with your statement about science and measuring or the void of caring due to science. It is like I have stated before that although society today and technology have opened the door to communicating with more people with more frequency it is taking that personal relationship out of things. An example I would provide is a mother and daughter who are at odds with each other cannot have a face to face conversation without argument because they no longer know how to communicate. But can text each other while sitting in the same room without any problems. This proves that we have forgotten how to be personable. Jesus taught us that God is love and the best way to God is through showing that loving nature. This also keeps us from getting close to God because we have forgotten how to get back to the basics and communicate on a personal level with God. God and spirituality cannot be achieved through anything but a personal communicative relationship. If I may make a bold statement because I was there a few weeks ago that this is where everyone needs to move towards. Step out from behind your technology, science and buildings (i.e. Church) and start communing with people and God more importantly on a personal level.
But unlike philosophy that does not provide final answers God does and is willing if one would just stop and be quiet to listen to what He has to say to you. This can only occur through relationship and increased communication.
What were these obstacles and what spiritual issues were you struggling with? Out of curiosity.
I agree that spiritual distress will prevent one from fulfilling the worldly roles that they have. This furthers the point that one must become closer to and in tune with God in order to be better at the worldly roles that we fill. For God gave us those roles for a reason. If we communicate and are willing to listen He will show us how to be better at these roles.
Finding that balance is so much fun. (Ha-ha) The nice thing is that we can help each other and others reach this point. Just remember God is not made to fit in a box and when one tries, God always finds a way to prove you wrong. Blatantly proven when God won me over like you stated Mr. J in your last paragraph before your conclusion.
Overall, God is declaring “aren’t I enough for you.”
Let’s see where this takes us. Despite the pile you thought you laid out there well done!

arg

This is a bad post. I had this idea which I felt would start a great dialogue. However, I got lost and was unable to get back. The only thing I achieved was days and days of pointless writing. So now, I cannot write any longer. I will just throw caution in the wind and hand you, Mr. A, this massive sticking pile of you know what. I have always relied on your insight, so get your scalpel out and dissect what you can. Feel free to draw blood. :), or ignore this post all together.

Mr. A, I have not fully appreciated what you have been saying. So below you’ll find a new response to your last two posts.

Response to second to last post:

You stated,

it is funny because I have come to the thought that whether it is faith or the lack of a better option just believing in God and heaven seems to make sense now. I think I am beginning to move towards bettering my relationship with God, bettering my journey, accepting all with a blind faith because nothing else out there speaks any better or clearer. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe because of default but it is funny how faith has begun to fall in to place for me. Things are making sense and the other options out there seem just as improbable.

How the above happened to me:


I too have come to the conclusion to have faith in God. I cannot say with a total blind faith, but I’ll admit faith does require being blind; otherwise it’s not faith. You described your faith using the phrase “ for lack of a better reason.” It was the same for me. I wrestled with God philosophically until Unamuno ( who I hope was one of the people God knew would bring me around should I find him) who believed in God simply because everything contradicted itself, including God, kicked my arse. In the end, Unamuno like me, could not shake that desire to live forever, to have a God to believe in, to know and trust ( although his God is a lot different than mine).
Your statement about relying too much on science is not wrong but I would like to add to it. I don’t think we rely on science too much as we don’t take the time to think about why we really are conducting scientific experiments. Allow me to give an example. In order for a nurse to be an expert in caring, it requires profound philosophical, scientific, and personal insight. In short it requires a lot of knowing. The medical field’s obsession with measuring everything (isolating variables) has resulted in nursing losing it’s focus on one of our most profound banks of legitimate knowledge ( caring) simply because it cannot be properly measured. While there are legitimate ways of studying it (qualitative methods), they are thought to be weaker ( not true).

I recall one oncology nurse who realized after reflection, that medicine’s outcomes based work had forgotten to ask what it was like to have end stage cancer. She found that by the time medicine was done with these patients, all that could be done to alleviate their suffering, was to dope them up to high heaven. She wanted to know what it was like to go through this. So, she conducted a qualitative study and found that the patients suffered even more due to the pain medication. This was because they were being robed of their lucidity. From this many new interventions were implemented

So why did I talk to much about science?

I often see that faith and religion have the same problems as the above. But this is wrong for everything we do requires rational thought. This includes faith, for people have to believe it is the best thing for them. Anyone who becomes disappointed with philosophy (rational thought), in my mind, thinks that philosophy can give real final answers. It does not, it only assists us in making sense of this life, this irrational life, which only seems to make sense, when we rely on our experiences. These experiences are what give us truth and understanding and in my case it requires religion but only when guided by reason. But be warned. Too much reason cause one to be blind to their experience , but for those who ignore reason, will start thinking that Jihad crusades are ok.




Response to Mr. A’s last post.


The importance of this entry, is that I have to admit that I believe in God in a very similar way as you described. That for all the books I have read etc, my reason to believe is no better founded. I had been struggling with spiritual issues too long and because of that, I was becoming more ineffective as a father, nurse, and researcher. I felt compelled to return to my religion even though I had major issues with it (rational). After praying for years and getting the same answer: “ to go a priest, confess your issues, and return to the faith you once had as a child”. As a rational person, I found that is a ridiculous idea ( fought it for like 15 years). But as you said Mr. A, at some point one comes to accept, to believe. So, fed up with my spiritual distress and guided my the above answer,I finally went to a priest. By going to somebody else, and in the name of all that is asking for help, I was able to overcome some major spiritual obstacles.

Every day I find that I have to remain focused on what is really important. If I stray from the right path, I become very ineffective in what I do. I become less capable of being caring and staying away from vices. This heavily detracts from my work, work that I feel would be of at least some importance if I could balance my life better

I struggle just like you Mr. A in balancing the two worlds. I want to do what is right in God’s view but it did not work by just following a set of religious rules ( as Catholics can be thought famous for and what I thought I had to do as a Catholic), about which job he wants me to have, how large a family, or what kind of research I should/should not conduct (although he might). Rather, I would guess that God knew I would be always thinking about stuff ( study philosophy), want to be in a profession where I could focus on caring (nurse), want to be artistically creative when possible (guitar player), and participate in sports that put mortality to the test (monkey/snowboarder/rock climber. I could have chosen other things but they would be similar.

My struggles happen when I get too focused on one thing or another I falter. It sad how quickly and obvious it is when I stray. For me to stay on path, I need pray a lot, reflect upon what is going on in my life, and finally most recently reconcile my problems with the Catholic church so that I can return to my religious tradition. Studying philosophy, being a nurse, being a father, guitar playing etc. have all brought me closer to God and also taken me away from God.

One does not need any of the above to get to God, but in my case they is how He got to me, for that is what I am. Hopefully my work will be of help to others. When I first met you, I felt you Mr. A could have cared less about God. Oh how He changed that. For I feel He knew what kind of person you were, and waited for you to make a move in the right direction, a move that would bring you right to Him.

Conclusion:

Give the long mother blog ( I hope you don’t die reading it) I thought I better summarize what I said. My faith became necessary when I could not longer contain my spiritual distress. This required me to accept experiences and ideas that I cannot fully rationalize except to say that it seemed to right and therefore most rational for me to do. Through a most off topic I tried to show that science does not error because it is too scientific but rather because like anything else ( philosophy and faith), it can blind itself. I have come to realize that if I do not allow myself spiritual help I am not capable of being a good father, husband, nurse, researcher, and musician (even though these traits are what I am) because I too can blind myself by ignoring the bigger picture spiritual needs. However, without all the above I would never have found God in the first place. How quixotic.


From the heart I want to say that my faith is based in reason and experience (irrational thought); quixotic to the core. Your’s, from a completely different angle, requiring little of what I do. You born again, me Catholic. Both religions opposed and alike. Yet, I have all the faith that God laughs at this saying, “you believe for the same reason, is that not enough?”

Mr. A, worldly knowledge, practice, and in your case, your job do not have to contradict the Godly view. What we do here, is what brings us to God. I will try to, in a short time, to explain why I feel your job, if done right ( I am sure it is), is God’s work.

Mental illness is real:
A close relative of mine, has a number of mental defects/illnesses that often prevent her from having total control of her actions. I will not list any specific illnesses, but I will say that her problems fit the description of many a mainstream mental illness thought to be bogus. But she is not possessed by Satan, she has bad DNA ( proven with a DNA test). I can imagine that people in the not so distant past would think her possessed. For she often bursts out saying things that don’t make sense- including making up new words, gets foam in the corners of her mouth from speaking and worrying too much, and is prone to falling and seizing on the floor. I thank God someone understands that there is something wrong in her brain and is utilizing drugs to improve neurological function. Not only is her illness is under control, but she continues to surpass all projections as medical treatment and therapies continue to improve over the years.

It’s dangerous to assume that mental illness is otherwise; imagine if we considered other illnesses to be demonic:

Example 1:
Empirical science, through it diligence, has not only identified bacteria, but found cures for the many illnesses it causes. I would find it madness and amoral (negligence or suicide), for an otherwise healthy person, to refuse or be refused antibiotics if the excuse was “it’s demonic and requiring only prayer; it’s in God’s hands”.

Example 2:
Take a person who practices bad diet, is overweight, and does not exercise. Was their heart attack from demonic possession or clogged arteries? I don’t need diet or exercise, I need prayer.

What these examples mean:

As far as we know regarding mental illness, there is no difference between mental illness and any other illness. Like bacteria, we empirically see it and are doing our best to empirically treat it. I have no qualms with the religious idea that a person via bad choices can cause or make depression or many other mental illnesses worse and by extension of reason, allow or further the devil’s influence. The devil may very well be enacting on someone in a way to give or promote mental illness (or any illness for that matter), but rest assured, like a bacterial infection, there is an actual illness that needs treatment. But say somehow the Devil works just through the soul and not through the body , it is severally dangerous to assume this. Imagine if we assumed that every fat person who goes to McDonalds is possessed by the devil to go there. Most if not all people at McDonalds are not possessed but probably have serious health issues(although the drive through has made me wonder at times) and the same is for mental illness. We need to help these people. Would it be right to pray to end world hunger while simultaneously getting rid of food pantries and outreach program because they promote the devils work by making us think the problem is not of this world?

God gave us talents that can be used for good or for evil. Fat McDonald people need help. So do the mentally ill. Their need prayer, therapy, and medical intervention. Mr. A ,your ability to be good therapist, to help people overcome a mental illness ,is a calling and gift from God. I know that you have been a great help to me.

The world needs Mr. A to continue his good works. I need to know there is a world in which people like Mr. A are out there helping people.

Conclusion:
Go ahead a pray for every one who has any illness. Pray for guidance. Pray for me who might have just really pissed Mr. A off. Just don’t forget that the mentally ill need real treatment. I am sure then that the Devil would love us only to pray for others while ignoring physical action. We have only this world in order to build ourselves up by doing that that which is good and right. Remember, that quote ‘whatever you do to the least of my people, you do to me’?. We find God by doing what is right, by helping others. Most of us were not all meant to live in a monastery, ignoring this world. If you do the right thing in this world, you learn to be closer to the next. Why else to we live? I am sure Mr. A , that for you it is to be saved, but being saved does not mean sitting around. Every action we take on this earth can bring us closer to higher understanding, all we have to do is maintain our focus.

God, the question and proof of my growth.

Who is God? The one I know and have experienced through odd and strange sensations, acts of the world and more than coincidence. But to continually struggle to live by his image. Failed by choices and thoughts. Forgiven by grace, saved by mercy. Who is this being that is so loving, all knowing and allowing of free will.

Why is it that all of the worldly knowledge, practice and job(occupation) contradict the Godly view? Is it mental health issues or is it demonic? Why does worldly treatment effect these so called demons? How does one be a believer when his view and knowledge of God contradicts his day to day job and experiences? These are the things I struggle with daily. Wanting to be Godly everyday, living in the experience, feeling God and knowing his voice. But balance my knowledge of books and worldly experiences.

Hard to stay in chair one(the Godly chair), pray and commune with God every day. Not always seeing results knowing I should, getting frustrated at God but taking it out on the world. What of me must I change in order to walk from a holy place. Contending like a prized fighter who is not in any condition to do so.

So I can see the change that I have continued to make through the experience with the blog and reading things that have answered questions and edified my beliefs. It is crazy how God and intercede in your life and interject his plan throughout your life especially when you are not expecting these things. I believe it takes faith and a choice to proceed in your faith. So now is the time for me to start training to be that prized fighter. So those around me be prepared to be questioned, tested and experienced in the walk that I continue to travel.

Feel free to answer the questions, pose your own or share any experience that you have had whether it is your walk or thoughts you have had.

Mr. A's growth
It is funny because I have come to the thought that whether it is faith or the lack of a better option just believing in God and heaven seems to make sense now. I think I am beginning to move towards bettering my relationship with God, bettering my journey, accepting all with a blind faith because nothing else out there speaks any better or clearer. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe because of default but it is funny how faith has begun to fall in to place for me. Things are making sense and the other options out there seem just as improbable. But now the improbable seems plausible and the God option tailors to my person and journey. I hope that makes sense because I don’t think I stated it as clearly as possible. I guess it boils down to the idea that it just makes sense to me.
We have turned too much to science and a need for the concrete to explain everything that it has begun to cloud our ability to have faith in anything not just God and enjoy the pure rush of the things that require faith. Although I admit that I am as guilty as the next and I guess you could argue that this exploration has been my attempt to find those concrete answers as well. But what has happened is that my faith has grown and I am starting to realize that I don’t need those concrete answers and that God will provide me with all the answers I need.
I feel reason is our attempt to justify life, experience and knowledge. I would state that God does not fit into this box. We must stop trying to put God in a box and allow our faith to free our minds. It’s amazing how we seek God and try to know him better and can justify these things but continue to question and not follow through. It is our nature that creates these conflicts. But how great is it to have a God who has given us the free will to make this choice to follow him and receive his love and mercy. But I guess that is my biggest hindrance just letting it all go and live fully in God and with God.
I agree but it has strengthened my argument for God. I was always afraid to have this conversation with anyone because of being shot down or not helping one find Christ. But I have now realized that even if I don’t win a soul I at least fought the battle and even opened one’s mind but ultimately strengthening my own faith. This over the past few months with the blog has occurred. I feel stronger in my faith but it has also strengthened several of my relationships and even opened new relationships in my life.
Permission granted although not needed. This is your blog as well and if it fits the purpose of our journey as men then the floor is yours.
I would suggest anyone read Letters from a Skeptic by Dr. Gregory Boyd.
“Man is perishable. That may be; but let us perish resisting, and if it is nothingness that awaits us, do not let us so act that is be a just fate.” I find this interesting because our physical man is perishable, but that is not God’s concern. It is the spiritual/soul man who must resist and fight for something. For nothingness doesn’t get us created. But again this is for one to discover and if you are coming for the opposite perspective I guess this would make sense. Although why would one what to resist for nothing, I guess it all goes back to the “Wherefore” which has been proven to be genus.
I hope you are getting as much out of this as I am Mr. J. Thanks Mr. A.

Mr J’s trial: an affirmation of belief in God.
My trial is about reconciling faith and reason. About wanting to believe in God (I do) and an afterlife despite there being no solid, rational argument for the existence of God/afterlife. I am familiar with just about every rational argument for God and my conclusion is that they suck (please no one take any offense by this, for there are a great number of people I respect and am profoundly influenced by who think there are). Despite this, I have many a reason to believe in God. I have achieved this through the guidance of the philosopher Unamuno. I am guided by him not because he changed my mind, but rather because he underwent the sheer agony of figuring out why, despite the above, people like me still believe in God.
While most of Unamuno’s work argued vehemently for the irrational side of life, he fully recognized rational thought. The battle between the rational and irrational produced the tragic sense of life for him as he was unable to “dominate or violate the other”. This led him to philosophize not only with reason but his whole will and personality; he felt required to fulfill the needs of passion and was unable to do so with reason. This is because what we are, our existence cannot be objectivized but only grasped through pure subjectivity. I’ll let the following Unamuno quote summarize and explain the above:

“ I frankly confess that the supposed rational proofs ... of the existence of God, prove to me nothing; that all the reasons adduced to show that God exists appear to me based on sophistry and begging the question... nobody has succeeded in convincing me rationally of the existence of God, nor yet of his nonexistence ... if I believe in God it is, first of all, because I wish that God may exist, and then because He is revealed to me through the challenge of the heart.”

Unamuno felt we have a vital need to believe in God, in immortality, as without it there is no meaning in the Universe. I cannot explain here why Unamuno supported this vital need, but I will try to give a brief outline of mine.

Simply put, it comes down to the fact that I myself cannot accept there is no God/no afterlife. I am not sure why. I am not afraid of hell nor am I looking forward to Heaven. Yet I need God, and he is there when I need him. My very existence makes me needs believe; it leads me to find and know God, no matter how hard reason bats it down ( I suppose this would be heaven so one could argue I am looking forward to it). I would love to describe these experiences in this blog for I think that is why were are writing in it; not to argue for or against God, but to to describe our shared experiences, our journey. Perhaps, given Mr’s A permission, I will do so. But Just in case I am wrong about there being a God, I will let Senancour console me:

“ Man is perishable. That may be; but let us perish resisting, and if it is nothingness that awaits us, do not let us so act that is be a just fate.”

Revelation
A revelation that I had while reading the book Letters From A Skeptic by Dr. Gregory A. Boyd and Edward K. Boyd. In going back to the discussion of the "wherefore" and our journey I came to the conclusion spiritually regarding the purpose of our journey. It is from the spiritual perspective, which I believe in but struggle with, living in the kingdom of heaven for all eternity with God. A life of peace and happiness void of evil. The journey is a way to solidify our faith and be able to have an established, chosen love for God. A path based on our own free will, the choice to love and be good, to fight against the evil. For it is God who gave us this free will.
It is because of this book and our continued ventures through this blog that I have been able to strength this thought and some of the relationships that I have in my life. So I just want to thank all those who have participated in the blog and other conversations that I have had recently and to my wife and daughter.

Mr. K's arrest
Preface: Not having read the book the following response is purely based on a thought.
I was reading the book of Psalms and had a thought regarding Mr. K’s arrest. Maybe Mr. K’s arrest is the world of evil persecuting him for his faith. Of course everyone is going to have an opinion or advice in ways that he should handle the situation. That is how we operate as a society. Always having opinions or something to say or advice about others lives but is quick to change the view when our own life is called into question. It is so easy to persecute and judge others. It is another thing to stand in from of the gate and be judged you. In terms of faith it is something to fight for to maintain at all costs. But it speaks to the fact that one must persevere despite the charges, trial, and accusations and ridicule that one experiences daily. It is faith that one is attacked but also judged on. Mr. K is experiencing all of these things because one day he will be judged by God based on his faith and respond in the face of persecution and trail by evil. It is evils goal to break ones faith and turn their views. They want to skew your thoughts and make one question their beliefs. This is how they are judged. How many souls can they divert and get God to judge harshly. I think the lesson to be taken from this parable is that we will all face judgment or the gate at the end of our lives. It is what we do during our journey when faced with persecution, trial, accusations and difficulties that will provide us with purpose of faith. Do we turn from our faith or do we allow our faith to get stronger? Whether we are searching through spiritual, religious, existential or what have you. Our ideals will be tested beyond any measures, we will be judged by our maker whether we handled these test based on faith or are we quick to recant and conform to the testers ideals and views.
I feel this becomes our biggest struggle in faith and spirituality. How do we believe while things around us go wrong or we experience pain? How does our faith persevere? All these things I guess are the answers we are searching for. Questions I would love to have answers for but have been unable to discover or am I unable to fully believe. Maybe I know the answer but have difficulty grasping or fully believing with blind faith or even seeing them. I know my judgment will be rocky but it is by mercy and grace that I am saved not because I am deserving but because I believe.
Overall I think this is the struggle that Mr. K is experiencing. Where does he stand, where is his journey taking him, how is he being judged, and who does he turn to for answers and what does it mean?
Yes this is the purpose of the blog. To discuss, question, explore and think. All in hopes to find answers or gain a deeper understanding of whom we are as individuals. Thanks for the reminder to be free in my speech and topics of the blog.

Mr. K

Feel spiritually on trial, no logical reason for feeling this way. I don’t know who to turn or listen to. No one but these struggles, thoughts and internal dialogue are your journey and defense in this trial and spirituality, although it may be helpful to discuss with those who you trust spiritually. Makes any sense. Does it ever. Maybe this is your spirit trying to help you uncover its purpose in life spiritually.

The gate is for him alone. No one else matters in your trials and travels in trying to get into the gate. The gate is solely our own entry way into something based on our existence. We all face judgment individually.

I do not want my existence/life put on trial, especially given the fact that the only reason it would seem I would have for being on trial, is my existence. Spiritually this is the basis of our judgment. The idea that our spiritual relationship is what gets us in the gate. It is this relationship that becomes the foundation of our spirituality. On the other hand, being judged by society based on our existence occurs every day. People judge, criticize and give advice based on our existence, which also may speak to our “wherefore” fuel.

Should I not denounce the arrest altogether (i.e. this feeling of judgment)? We should denounce the feelings of judgment if it is the feelings that stemmed from others and not God. For He is the only judge that should matter. According to me obviously.

Besides, like this man, it would seem all attempts to understand what is going on will avail nothing anyways. I think this is the hardest part of my growth, relationship and experience on my spiritual path. Having blind faith, all the while dealing with disappointment, judgment and life struggles that question what is this all for. I also believe that it is our relationship and journey that helps us be ok with the judgment or at least reconcile that there is something out there that may explain our purpose here. But again that has been a very difficult journey both mentally and spiritually because these two aspects fight each other all the time. Sometimes I wish it could be one way or the other. Kind of like Mr. K and this trial and gate, not knowing and standing trial/judgment with no answers tests ones faith to ends that make one question everything.

I can only step through that gate, whereby accepting whatever judgment may follow. Definition of blind faith.

It’s funny, my Dad said, God does not dam you, but rather, when facing your eternal judgment, you freely choose to dam yourself. One must look at what are we living for and that we must not live life for the judgment but to further our relationship with God, which would lead to the question I have thought about many times before. Who is God? But that is a topic for a later time.

Sorry about this response but I can't formulate my thoughts concisely enough so this will have to do for now.

Having had my brains blown out by Franz Kafka's novel, The Trial, I feel compelled to write a quick blurb. The story is of a Man, Mr. K., who awakens one day to find that he is being arrested. He will never find out why. In fact, anyone reading this story will find that nobody really knows anything, even if they know a lot about what is going on. All the while, the court of which Mr. K is arrested, has no semblance of legitimacy, making one wonder why Mr. K should ever care to worry about this trial.
Either way, despite his arrest, he is allowed to return to his life and deal with his accusation on his own time - and so he does. Wherever he goes, he finds people supposedly knowledgeable of his case. They offer sporadic advice, touted to be of utmost importance to his defense, even though, like I said, they know nothing of what is going on - except that Mr. K's been arrested and his defense must be maintained at all costs . Near the end of this parable of a novel, is a small parable in of itself that seems to describes this man's multifaceted attempts to understand his trial.

I dare not summarize the small parable here, but I have found a free translation of the story. While it's a different translation from what I read ( it was originally written in German) I think this will do.


Many aspects of my spiritual life can be compared to Mr. K's trial and the above parable. It is not uncommon for me to feel spiritually on trial- despite the fact that I have no logical reason for feeling this way. Like Mr. K, I don't know who to turn or listen to. Furthermore, while all the advice I get seems to be really useful, when analyzed, none of it really makes any sense. In the end,if you have read the above parable, my spiritual inquiry can be seen as fruitless as it was for this guy to spend his whole life standing before the gates wondering how he could get in. It is a sad thought indeed when we find out why, right before the man dies, no one else as tried to get in; the gate is for him alone.

I would suspect that one could face one's existence and subsequent death like this man faces the gates in the story. I do not want my existence/life put on trial, especially given the fact that the only reason it would seem I would have for being on trial, is my existence. What more, I have no idea of how I am being judged, but only that I am being judged. But hold on. Should even care? Should I not denounce the arrest altogether (ie this feeling of judgment). Besides, like this man, it would seem all attempts to understand what is going on will avail nothing anyways.

But I cannot shake this existential cosmic judgment so .... As far as my life goes, I have to ask myself am I doomed forever to stand questioning in front of that gate wondering what it's all about? Or, will I realize that the gate was just for me, that that no human will have any answers, and that only I can step through that gate, whereby accepting whatever judgment may follow?

Or I could just have a beer.


Its funny, my Dad said, God does not dam you, but rather, when facing your during eternal judgment, you freely choose to dam yourself.

And people wonder why Catholics feel guilty all the time.

Sincerely,

Mr. J

Mr A, well said. In the following response, I hope to venture into new territory by providing a few thoughts that came to me in reading the March 26th post.

Thought # 1Mr. A states:

Doesn’t this speak more to creating a better life for ourselves than keeping us from contributing or making progress? Living by or creating an example of how to live life to the fullest and not become the habit. But could it be that these habits create parts of our journey that are a solid foundation and a security that allow us to travel or wander off. Habits provide us with a place to come back to when we are down with that adventure and allow us to reflect. I do agree that habits have the tendency to make us become complacent in life and meld into the background scenery.

I honestly believe that the concept of Good. That is, Good itself. Full disclosure, this is a weak rendition of the Platonic forms ( I am sorry to constantly quote others in this blog, its makes me look pretentious, but I do not want to take credit where it’s not due). To have a better life one must do what is good for themselves. What is good for oneself, if truly good, has to participate or be a part of Good itself. Therefore, when we do what is truly good for ourselves it is the best for the world. And as you say, the idea is to create good habits to help keep it going.


Thought # 2

Mr. A also states that we have a right and wrong because of past generations philosophies and beliefs. I agree with this, but I have to add a thought. It is true that right and wrong is defiantly due to past generation’s philosophies and beliefs. But one has to be carful when saying that. For to hold onto that line, is to fall directly into relativism. For example, there are cultures that that via tradition condone rape as a coming of age rite. Also, forgive the second sexual reference, let us not forget female genital mutilation in Africa used to usher girls into womanhood. I argue, a priori, such things are indefensible. But not to go too far, let me just provide a oversimplified but sufficient statement. While everything regarding right/wrong may be culturally, philosophically, and historically relative, it still has to/not to adhere or participate in Good. Here is some food for perspective. Jefferson felt that his slaves were humans and should be free, but still had them until he died. Looking at his life, many life circumstances could get him excused ( not saying he is), especially given all that he did to care for his slaves while trying to abolish slavery altogether. The point here is that it might of been ok for what he did given cultural relativism, but the bottom line is even he knew it was wrong and worked to undue it. A second example is a bit easier. I think it is wrong how we pollute the planet and use fossil fuels. Yet I still own two cars which are used often. THis does not mean I should abandon the freedom cars offer, I just buy smaller cars, think twice before I run an out to the store, and sometime ride my bike.

Thought # 3 Mr. A states:

It is the individual who decides if life is better than it was before. I would suggest in relevance’s to me that life is better than 100 years ago.

My response; of course it is. The only point I want to make here is that my level of happiness is not better than, for the most part, those before. Think of a modern rich man. If he were to loose almost everything and a have an income similar to ours, then he would be miserable- at least for a while. But we know that prior to him loosing his money, he is no happier than you or I. I would at least hope so, for my goal in life is not to make a lot of money. For sure, I know at least one way I could have doubled my income so far and totally did not go for it. Just saying.


The Good, wherefore’s journey:

My journey in life is to discover and promote good. Most of my efforts go into my family and nursing. The constant challenge is for me to stay on track and to, God willing, improve upon what I have done. I realize in the grand scheme of things, I will fail at everything, but as I have stated as being my ending epithet “He died trying”. I am not going to be the perfect father or husband, but it does not mean I am not going to die trying. Likewise I will never fully understand just what it means to promote caring in nursing, but God willing, I will die trying.

Life is about meeting and overcoming these failures. I am happy for them as I know it is these failures that give me purpose and meaning in life. Every moment gives us an opportunity to improve upon our failures, to improve upon our participation, and understanding of the Good. Every time we participate in the good or its knowledge we improve upon ourselves and the world. Every time we are not mindful of what we do, our participation in the Good, one has to wonder what happens to the world and ourselves.

Finality

So I did not have a concrete response but just some more thoughts and conclusions about this wonderful, inspiring and knowledgeable conversation that has taken place.
Let’s get away from the argument of right and wrong and living by a standard. Let’s think about the purpose of the wherefore as Mr. J has kindly explored and elaborated on. How does the wherefore shape our journey.

We all operate on a wherefore. If you ignore this but think you are doing your part for future journeys, then you risk what Dostoevsky warned us against above; become nothing but a series of habits where there will be no progress made in one’s life, nor contribution, only habits. And I quote, “It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has accumulated during the first half.” Doesn’t this speak more to creating a better life for ourselves than keeping us from contributing or making progress? Living by or creating an example of how to live life to the fullest and not become the habit. But could it be that these habits create parts of our journey that are a solid foundation and a security that allow us to travel or wander off. Habits provide us with a place to come back to when we are down with that adventure and allow us to reflect. I do agree that habits have the tendency to make us become complacent in life and meld into the background scenery.

“Most of us think that there is right and a wrong.” I ask why we think this. I say it is because of past generations philosophies and beliefs.

“That if we adhere to this right and wrong we would have a more just world.” “If we only knew what we know now.” I think this creates a perception that is only relevant to the individual. It is the individual who decides if life is better than it was before. I would suggest in relevance’s to me that life is better than 100 years ago. But again this is a matter of opinion and the fact that I cannot be the judge for a society. This would be unfair to everyone else. But going back to the statement I made that making life simple only complicates things more fits perfectly. Look at all the advances we have made, which I feel have made my life better than 100 years ago. But on the other hand it has also complicated and distanced the human relationship. We have created more ways to connect with each other but it has taken away the personal human connection. How much more wherefore’s would there be if only people took the time to commune on a personal level. But I digress as Mr. J puts it. So I ask you to think about your own life situation. Is it better because of our predecessors or despite them? I would like to believe that the journey I take will help the future find a better life or at least give them options. Just something to think about.

Conclusion: Wherefore equals a motivator for our life journeys. So I say thanks Mr. J for enlightening me to what fuels our journey and to start looking not only at the journey itself but what that journey is leading to or is lead by. It is our journey that teaches the future generations but it is their own wherefore that motivates them to choose to start a journey in the first place. But remember that your wherefore may change frequently throughout your journey. Stay focused, creative and motivated. Make personal human connections on the way because you never know who you may influence or influence you. Live on.

a beast of a response

I agree with Mr. A’s thought that what we do, we should do for the future generation’s journey’s. But I think it is naive for us to hold this position without a wherefore. I doubt we would do anything if we thought it would be all for naught. But say it is all for naught, we still have to aim for something. So then Wherefore do we live and work?
In college, I had a different name for the Unamunian “wherefore”. This version was actually a sincere three word prayer directed to God. And I quote “ What the FU*K ?” Pardon the vulgarity, but it brought the sincerity needed to ask God why. It was only until much later that a friend recommended Unamuno to supplant this thought/question.
Mr. A’s line of thinking wonders what would happen if we constantly ask “wherefore?” He thinks that it might destroy our motivation ( forgive me if I am wrong on this). Typically, in order to respond to that thought, I’ve got to ask, what motivation does the world or I have? The usual answer is to create a better, more just world. But there are problems with this. For what is better, what is more just? Take the following question; why do we have laws, why do we have morals? The easy answer is to maintain a functioning society. But morality, importantly so, goes beyond function, as it finds so many things to be wrong that are seemingly victimless or against the law. Most would not hold morals/laws being wishy washy as Mr. A example of philosophy class, for his example showed, that things can be right and wrong as long as we can put a good argument behind it.
But we don’t think that. Most of us think that there is right and a wrong. That if we adhere to this right and wrong we would have a more just world. To me this is just an illusion that almost all of us suffer from in one way or another; the believe that we have a better grasp of understanding then our predecessors. The phrase, “ if they only knew what we know now” comes to mind. For example, who was not sickened by the German people doing nothing about the Holocaust? Or how about American Slavery? What do you think about those people who ignored the ashes descending from the air in Germany? What about the American Confederates who thought it right to preserve slavery? Of course we know better now. We would never allow this willingly again (at least you I would not if it were to be so blatant as ashes falling from the sky). All this leads me to say, sure we do know better - not to do those specific things. But do we know what is better in a different situation? It becomes harder in nuanced situations. Perhaps people will look back at us in 100 years and scoff at the idea that we could be so heartless as to not want people to have healthcare. The point is, I think most of us would have a hard time figuring what is better because we really do not have a better understanding of better. Why do we want better? Why is it wrong to do certain things? Why is it important do we try to prevent the Holocaust?
It cannot be happiness- with a few exceptions, I think we are no happier then anyone in the past. Is it morality? Quite frankly, with a few exceptions, we are no moral than our predecessors. Love, less violence, better philosophical insight? Quite frankly we don’t have more love, less violence, or better philosophical insight. I can give another “ quite frankly” if you wish.

WHEREFORE our journey !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????? If there is no better, is it really to only perpetuate the same situations in a new way? I don’t think so. I don’t think any of us really want to believe that everything we do will do, we do for no reason other than the continuation of the same existence.
Unamuno was right to observe the madness this line of thinking can cause. His opus, The Tragic Sense of Life was well titled. Mr A. similarly was astute enough to recognize the impracticality of this line ( well done bro - wish I could show you how many great ideas you stumbled upon that line of thinking but ...)
Before I go further, I am going to boil it down and let my favorite author Dostoevsky give Unamuno’s response to the question of Wherefore (note the italicized portion is the actual answer): “If you were to destroy the belief in immortality in mankind, not only love but every living force on which the continuation of all life in the world depended, would dry up at once.”
Why did Jesus mention the whole gain world, loose soul idea? But I will quickly digress ...
Whether someone be an atheist or believer, it was all the same to Unamuno. We all want to be immortal, to perpetuate ourselves somehow. Although, both Dostoevsky and Unamuno found their immorality via God, I am sure they sought a back up plan with their work, ie their future generations journey which involves reading their books.
Whoever is reading this, heed my point. Ask yourself Wherefore you do anything. God? Morality? Art? We all operate on a Wherefore. If you ignore this but think you are doing your part for future journeys, then you risk what Dostoevsky warned us against above; become nothing but a series of habits where there will be no progress made in one’s life, nor contribution, only habits. And I quote, “It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man's life is made up of nothing, but the habits he has accumulated during the first half.” And people wonder why I hate TV ( don’t worry I use it all the time)- what most of us do the moment we get a free moment. We need a wherefore.
The Grand Inquisitor’s argument (chapter in The Brothers Karamazov, is the consequence of not believing this.) So what do we do, Mr. A was right on this one. and I quote “ To be content with living life without existence or recognition of who you are as a person or the thoughts that one has but may be afraid of sharing, which has changed for me. I believe trying to make life too simple results in life becoming more complex. We are complex beings meant to share, dream, think, explore and live. It is time that we step into this role and begin discovering or uncovering or living our journey.” But, Mr A., it seems might just be wrong on one thing. For to discover or uncover our journey we need to accept that it needs a wherefore. Find it, or at least die trying, before the couch finds you dying on it.
Funny enough I picked up a novel by Unamuno and found a conversation set between two friends as they meet up for a chess game; it reminded me of Mr. A’s point ( as quoted in the above paragraph) about life’s complexities and purpose. I’ve added some different details for giggles:

“ You are a little late today my boy”, said Jarod to Anthony. “You are always so punctual.”

“Why, yes, to be sure - business -”

“Business! You?”

“Do you think that nobody but nurse-philosophers has business to attend to? Life is much more complex then you imagine.”

“Or simpler than you perhaps think ---”

“It might be anything.”

“Very well, play!”

Along the Road Part 3

In response to the statement made by Mr. J regarding the “wherefore” and things ceasing to exist forever. Does it truly disappear forever? I feel like the “wherefore” contradicts the need to create the art, leave the knowledge and examine the genetic code. The journey we are traveling is to be left for those in the future or for our children to learn from, reexamine and lay a framework for other journeys to be created. Look at the experiences, journeys we review or use as a measure. (I.e. Socrates, past presidents, sports figures, parents, etc.) Without those would we be who we are now. Definitely not we would be living a different journey, discovering different things or even beginning a new conquest somewhere else. I don’t know if we can contemplate whether or not there is an infinite end. Although, it is interesting to think about it from time to time. We must think to the future of tomorrow. For if we think according to the “wherefore”, then what motivation does the world or you and I have. I want to take a look at the “wherefore” as a motivating tool for us to explore and try to prove that this may be wrong. That there is that purpose or journey, there is that reason or future to create the knowledge and art for the world to view now and forever. But yet again what is forever. It is what makes our journey, the pursuit to make our journey last and be remembered forever. [Excellent reply Mr. J never thought of it this way.]
Mr. J it is funny that you make mention of my previous inability to provide you with any answers or even debate with you back in the day. It has come to my attention lately that one I didn’t know or have any answers because I had not ever allowed myself to think about such things. Two, some part of me didn’t want to think or know the answers. Perhaps due to the fear of the answers or the ingrained idea that expression and free thought are not quite welcome. Or that my opinion does not matter much to the world or would be wrong, which I learned through our philosophy classes that right or wrong does not matter as long as you can verify and certify your thoughts, facts and opinions. This made me reflex upon most people’s responses to such a question. I experienced this same incident just the other day, someone not being comfortable expressing or sharing their thoughts and ideas due to the inability or fear of sharing. I think that this is common in our world today although history teaches us to do the opposite and fight for our right to think.
To be content with living life without existence or recognition of who you are as a person or the thoughts that one has but may be afraid of sharing, which has changed for me. I believe trying to make life too simple results in life becoming more complex. We are complex beings meant to share, dream, think, explore and live. It is time that we step into this role and begin discovering or uncovering or living our journey. [Glad I am a part of your answer. It goes to show that distant and life does not hinder true friendship.]

Along the Road Part 2

Response to Mr. A's post by Mr. J

The metaphors spoken by Mr. A. of being along the road and reflecting on life's journey is aptly put. I have been asked, "How do you remember your road so far? Whether just beginning, in the middle or well seasoned there are things that leave a time stamp. Besides the major life changes most of us experience, what are the little or unnoticeable things that have made a lasting impression on your road?"
Being who I am, I cannot simply nod my head and think about all the events and passages big or small that make up the road of life. At least not at first. Rather annoyingly, I have to ask myself, what road, what journey? Should I think of life as being a road or a journey? I am well aware that as a pseudo philosopher/nurse, I am ill suited, but all too wanting, to respond to such questions with such Socratic zeal (asking a question with a question- they killed him because he was so annoying). But what can I do, I'm a big fan of the Socratic method.
I have to wonder if life is a journey? And, what is a journey? By definition, a journey is to go from one place to another. So, am I going anywhere? The obvious answer is yes. I have a beautiful wife, the best son in the world, and another child whose arrival I cannot wait for. I have finished my graduate degree along with a monster of a thesis and am currently trying to publish some work. But, to quote my favorite Spanish author, Unamuno, "Wherefore?" Translated: why does it matter if it's all going to end. In all likelihood we will cease to exist; all our knowledge, art, and genetic code to forever disappear. But enough about that.
If life is a journey, then it means we are going somewhere and because life is not devoid of meaning, it's toward something. But again, wherefore? Mr. A, when I would pose such questions in college, would have no answer. But he would listen, and listen well - the best listener I know. I would never have have guesses that he was part of the answer. Or that my wife would be most of the answer. It would turn out that any time I would ask big questions regarding the purpose of life, life's answer was both simple and complex - and in the little things.
Life has provided me the answer to the question "Wherefore?". The problem I have have is being able to listen to it. For example, my solution to all my vices: listen to my wife. Further meaning in my life comes from knowing that the love of my friends, wife, and children is directing my soul's journey. It is, just like Mr. A says, in doing things like treating my patients. In being with them, I feel the presence of meaning and understanding. My point?
Life is purposely tossing it's answers left and right at me. The only thing life will not do is tell me exactly what is the concrete wherefore. I know that many a religion and it's believers think they have the answer to this question, and well, they do - but it still does not change a darn thing in this world. It does not change the fact that I have continue to try and understand my journey; to listen to the answers until I finally realize all that is.

Along the Road Part 1

Life’s journey, the things experienced, the adventures encountered, the sorrows and pain. How do you remember your road so far? Whether just beginning, in the middle or well seasoned there are things that leave a time stamp. Besides the major life changes most of us experience, what are the little or unnoticeable things that have made a lasting impression on your road? For me I feel my road is defined everyday by the people I work with. There are so many unfortunate situations out there that people make do with and at times feel is a good situation. It is amazing the things that one can live with or draw strength from. It makes me think to the life I have now, what I strive for and have not even begun to accomplish. It leads me to reflex on my road we call life.
I never thought myself to be a thinker (see my philosophy class grades for proof) or one to get excited, furious or upset over such things of life. More and more as I come to work, experience these lives and situations I have found that I have a lot more to say and on my mind then first perceived.
I thank all my college buddies (especially S2E and others) who have shaped and fueled this mind that is now firing on all cylinders despite the lack of outward passion I display. Late night conversations, strange behaviors and uncontrollable laughter allow me to impart this road that I am traveling to my clients and colleagues. I hope to continue to find joy in the work I do and create an avenue for us to express the things we are experiencing on our road.
I throw out there, that you start to look inward to the experiences of the past, the day to day living and try to find those things that make your road truly yours and find a way to share it with others. Or at least gain perspective into who you are or are becoming as a person of society. So again what is your road like?

The First

The premise of this blog. The foundation and creation of this blog has several purposes. I was thinking that I missed having intellectual, thought provoking conversations with friends. Quite often while driving, listening to music or laying down to go to sleep I get these random thoughts or ideas but never take note or put them down on paper. Nor do I every bring these ideas to others. I remember talking with college buddies and just throwing around thoughts. So I thought about creating this blog and asking my best friend and brother in law to participate as well. This way we have two different points of view and perspectives. So once a week one of us will post a blog about whatever is on our mind that week or something that we have thought about for a long time. After that blog is posted the other will respond to this post with our own thoughts and opinions. People should feel free to comment on those posts in order to create an interesting and open dialogue about what the three of us think as life develops and we experience our own adventures. I believe that people should find ways to continue to grow whether it is intellectually, spiritually or in developing an identity. So let the blogging begin. I don't know who will be posting first or when this will occur since I have to communicate with the other but I promise it will be shortly. Thank you in advance for you comments and time. I hope that at least one person gains or grows from this experience.