Mr. K

Feel spiritually on trial, no logical reason for feeling this way. I don’t know who to turn or listen to. No one but these struggles, thoughts and internal dialogue are your journey and defense in this trial and spirituality, although it may be helpful to discuss with those who you trust spiritually. Makes any sense. Does it ever. Maybe this is your spirit trying to help you uncover its purpose in life spiritually.

The gate is for him alone. No one else matters in your trials and travels in trying to get into the gate. The gate is solely our own entry way into something based on our existence. We all face judgment individually.

I do not want my existence/life put on trial, especially given the fact that the only reason it would seem I would have for being on trial, is my existence. Spiritually this is the basis of our judgment. The idea that our spiritual relationship is what gets us in the gate. It is this relationship that becomes the foundation of our spirituality. On the other hand, being judged by society based on our existence occurs every day. People judge, criticize and give advice based on our existence, which also may speak to our “wherefore” fuel.

Should I not denounce the arrest altogether (i.e. this feeling of judgment)? We should denounce the feelings of judgment if it is the feelings that stemmed from others and not God. For He is the only judge that should matter. According to me obviously.

Besides, like this man, it would seem all attempts to understand what is going on will avail nothing anyways. I think this is the hardest part of my growth, relationship and experience on my spiritual path. Having blind faith, all the while dealing with disappointment, judgment and life struggles that question what is this all for. I also believe that it is our relationship and journey that helps us be ok with the judgment or at least reconcile that there is something out there that may explain our purpose here. But again that has been a very difficult journey both mentally and spiritually because these two aspects fight each other all the time. Sometimes I wish it could be one way or the other. Kind of like Mr. K and this trial and gate, not knowing and standing trial/judgment with no answers tests ones faith to ends that make one question everything.

I can only step through that gate, whereby accepting whatever judgment may follow. Definition of blind faith.

It’s funny, my Dad said, God does not dam you, but rather, when facing your eternal judgment, you freely choose to dam yourself. One must look at what are we living for and that we must not live life for the judgment but to further our relationship with God, which would lead to the question I have thought about many times before. Who is God? But that is a topic for a later time.

Sorry about this response but I can't formulate my thoughts concisely enough so this will have to do for now.